feel my heart;

Its burdened for me i cant even feel it cus its too pain i only can pertend that it just nothing but nothing it just frustrating, now i want to feel it really deep.Seriously it happen again. everytime when i did somethings not wrong.. well little. I MISS HIM! honest really honest , i tell u this what i feel in myheart. i do love him very much like i love shopping but its above hundred percents. Every time i look at guys, that time hes in mind. the way his smile, his hair as an oil slick, his body! damn.hes the first guy i love so much that i couldnt imagine. hes into my soul.for me hes perfect. he makes me to love him and i adore him still.i miss his voice,his sweetness words came out in a whisper. his face appear in my head every minutes when im focusing. After all the amazing things he did for me,my dream's fucked up.I assumed, that he will left me in front of my eyes. he really did. Hes a major killer in my world.My friends said he wont come back.I am wishing hundredly times that he will. i texted him, he replied as in not sincerely.
Fine, i understand he has a girlfriend. but does he understand how i feel?. obviously, he does he just let it go and ignore it. he thinks that im like other girls out there who play with guys like so many scandal.i am not sumpah tak. Tipsy thats what i feel to take him back to me to be mine forver<3 im insane! that just could not happen cus He doesnt love me anymore:(. what can i say? hes forgetting me. he even told me that " we do it slowly k? " as in scandal. he kissed me on my cheek. thats the last day we met as in like each other. but i still like him. And then, i said to him " okay :)" i do everything for him to make him be with me till die. but it just happened in halfway. With a dizzying jolt, my dream abruptly became a nightmare! because of him. U know what, its been 5 months im being like this with no life. I know i need to move one, i did.. i pertending it to make me happy and to forget him. but its rough. Disaster it be. im just like this with no life and i hate my life. i sembahyang, try to be normal and wanted to clean all my sins. nigtmares changed me into that. i like. i dont care i wont give up to move on